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“Beyond the complexities of the mind resides the simplicity and beauty of the heart. Rosemary Hurwitz holds a deep and sophisticated understanding of the Enneagram and it’s personality types. She has a poetic way of interweaving this complex psychological system into practical ways for living a meaningful and purposeful life. I highly recommend her services to anyone searching to discover their truth.”

- Dr. Darren Weissman
Developer of The LifeLine Technique and Author of The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude

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I am passionate about teaching and doing spiritual direction with the Enneagram because it assists people on their journey toward wholeness. We are more integrated in body, mind and spirit when we own our power.

An Enneagram consultation will be a course in first recognizing, and then owning or claiming your power. The Enneagram, (ennea means nine in Greek and gram means point) is an ancient and time-honored system or map of nine universal personality types. We are in all of these types, however, when we take a pen and author our own Enneagram profile, it becomes crystal clear that one type is dominant within us.

With the Enneagram, you will gain a deepened sense of self, and compassion for yourself as well as other “types.” You will see the different lenses that the nines types use, and how they move through their journey. The nine types, in sequential order, include the “good” the “loving” the “effective” the “original” the “wise” the “loyal” the “joyful” the “powerful” and the “peaceful.” If you were to describe yourself in one word what would it be? Everyone that has worked with this spiritual map tells me it is their truth. It is the truth of their inner reality. My individual clients and workshop participants tell me that they have gained new insights into their own personalities from their Enneagram experience. They also appreciate that the Enneagram is a practical tool that can be used to improve their relationships.

In a one-hour session you will learn about your specific type. You will also learn what your authentic value is, that is, the true gifts that you uniquely “bring to the table of life” Your resourceful and non-resourceful characteristics will be reviewed.

You will learn where you “go” on the Enneagram spectrum, that is, to which corresponding type of the nine types do you identify with when you are in security or stress. This is a powerful part of the consult because once we know/own what our patterns are in stressful situations or secure ones, we empower ourselves by choosing not to go to the stressful places. We “can better catch ourselves” so to speak. We become more functional, more resourceful.

When we are aware of how to practice living resourcefully we simply do live that way more often. This is the call of everyone – to own their power, and this I know for sure, once the conscious practice and process begins within you, you will only go forward.

I read a verse on a refrigerator magnet that made me laugh in one of the Traverse City shops.  It read “Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a wall.”

The comic relief was so welcome because as great as I believe my 14, 19 and recent college grad are, it is exasperating at times, for each of us.  This reminds me of when my mom who raised six children, used to read a book, called “I Gotta Talk to Somebody God.”

Firstly there are all the individual’s age related challenges; in our family, going from youngest…..at age 14 all the excitement and anxiety about entering High School.

At 19, what to major in at college?  what to do with my life, as well as the continued adjustment of separating from a close knit family who still likes each other enough to be on vacations together.

At 22, following a few “key” but frustrating home rules which didn’t “apply” on the college turf, as well as saving money for more schooling but questioning the where and how of the next plan.

Our 25 year old is on her way, on her own, a professional in a loving relationship, off the payroll, as we say.  She made it through, to her own space and place.  They will too, I know but right now, I gotta talk to somebody God.

Letting go gracefully, giving wings to children is much harder for me than giving roots.

When kids are little, here are words that come to mind for me regarding the pleasure/challenge of it all; fresh, innocent, angelic, protective, mother’s intuition-strong intuitive hits-acute and intense life, excitement of childhood with its warbles and warts and tears, sheer exhaustion of it all, sweet forgiveness and oatmeal kisses, shoutings of “I love you mom,” on the way to the school bus from your 11 year old boy..

The (pre) and teen and college years feel like this; moodiness, hormones gone haywire, communicating less, less hugging, fewer kisses, slamming doors, “go to” or buddy person, cherished intimate conversations, exercise at the health club or bust, extra date nights for parents, forced family togetherness-because they would often rather be somewhere else, but we WILL have family dinners a FEW times a week, if we live together people because research shows kids are HAPPIER and TURN OUT BETTER, and OMG I am tired sometimes.  No pain no gain?

I now “get” why people want grandchildren.  New life that gets “fused” into a family hungry for it.  I just need to remember I can be life giving to people who have larger things on their mind than the swing set.

Emotional separation is a long and torturous process at times, necessary for everyone’s growth and individuation.  For everyone’s wings.

It is this very “art of separation,” which at times feels (I am guessing for all of us,) like “nailing jello onto a wall,” and yet, if done well, will prove only temporary.

Temporary because, as the plaque from my daughter with the family of snow people on their bathroom wall says,  Families are Forever; Love never Melts.

God created the world in play–I love that; what a great thought.  Joan Borysenko just asked on her FB page how do you quiet the inner critic in your head; she was reducing her busy schedule and heard a name calling voice (lazy bones) inside her head.

Many of us responded with what works for us and she shared how much she appreciated her FB friends, “really, really, really,” she said.  I know the feelings–both of the pain of the inner critic, and the relief of the friend’s advice.  The feeling of that inner critic who is hard on me, who thinks I should be doing more, or saying less, or is just not satisfied, always a kind of “contrary” state to being present, to quiet play, or being content, or just “playing it by ear,” as my very connected mother used to say.

The responses to Joan’s question, how do you quiet your inner critic, ranged from, “I say thank you, and move on,” to ” I excercise,” to mine, and this really works for me, ” I turn “guilt” into anger,”  as in, “Hah! lazybones you say?  Yes, what I have been lazy (negligent) about is being lazy!!  I like being…. I like lazy.  Get thee behind me!!” My inner critic is strong and sneaks up on me at times, and I have found that I need a strong response to let it know who is leading my life.

I am all for being industrious.  I admire those busy bees, or my “busy bee within” who gets the work done. Living in a Chicago suburb, raising a “big” family, (today) of four children, and working PT, going back for an advanced degree, owning two places,–I did it, I am doing it…I get it-I get it,  I really do, but there is a time and a place, and in the  Amercian culture, many of us have been raised to believe that doing is more important than being.

Being is OK, actually, it is more than OK, it is great!   Active play, being,  being lazy or other passive behaviors, when they seep in long enough to permeate your system, allow you to gain insights that might otherwise not surface in the hustle of life. It is why retirees and their grandkids often get along so well. It is why mothering a baby or small child can seduce the most successful lawyer away from a 6am to 6pm job, not that parenting is without duties–far from it, but there is the PLAY that we get to share in with babies and children, if we are smart enough to let ourselves.  This play can feel lazy, or like “doing nothing,” and yet as I look back at raising my four kids, now 14 to 25, the play is the thing I miss the most.  I feel “connected” when I play.  Maybe that is what Sri Ramakrishna was thinking of when he wrote, “God created the world in play.”

I write this after being  up at a lake for a week doing  a lot  of nothing with my 14 year old. We’ve read, and played with our dogs in the lake and polished our nails, made salads, watched TV, and movies, and I have excercised most days. With her Dad and older siblings coming and going throughout the summer, and me “losing the always being needed for something of motherhood,”  I am adjusting, believe me.  As I allow myself to    r    e    l   a   x,  this much I know, “playing it by ear,” is lovely.

I know we are a tech/facebook society, but I trust that it is perfect the way it is; after all, where else would I share my deep feelings with those that I care about, like over a backyard fence?

Tune into A taping of the Oprah Earth Day Show that I attended scheduled for 4/22.  It helped me with my integrity on plastic bags, and lights off, and of course consistent recycling, and many other things I sometimes slacked on.  Recommit for the sake of this beautiful earth and all it’s beautiful life!

LISTEN TO THE WHISPER OF THE WIND

SEE SWANS GLIDING ON GLITTERING DIAMONDS ON THE WATER

FEEL THE SUN’S WARM EMBRACE ON YOUR SHOULDERS

SINK YOUR TOES IN THE VELVET CARPET OF NEW GREEN GRASS

ENJOY THE INTOXICATING SCENT OF FLOWERS IN THE WARM BREEZE

TASTE A TART LEMONADE WITH MINT FROM THE WATER’S EDGE

WHISTLE BACK TO THE  ROBIN

BE ONE WITH THE EARTH

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM THAT, I AM

AND

B   R   E   A   T   H   E

THANK GOD FOR THE ABILITY TO EXERCISE, ESPECIALLY IN JANUARY.  I NEED TO WRITE THIS SO THAT I CAN REMEMBER, WHEN I NEED TO,  THAT I HAVE THE MAGIC PILL FOR MY OWN CONNECTION TO MY SPIRIT, WHEN IT SEEMS TO BE WANING.  I HAVE A STRONG FEELING IT MIGHT RESONATE WITH SOME OF YOU TOO, SO I SHARE MY EXPERIENCE.

SOMETIMES I RESIST THIS MAGIC PILL THAT IS RELEASED WITHIN MY OWN BODY THROUGH EXERCISE; I FORGET OR DENY THAT MY BODY IS A TEMPLE , BUT SOMEHOW I GET BACK ON TRACK TO A PRETTY SOLID CARDIO/STRENGTH PROGRAM.  GETTING TO THE HEALTH CLUB FIVE TIMES A WEEK TAKES EFFORT, WHILE TEACHING, WRITING AND STILL RAISING A FAMILY, BUT HERE’S WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON’T GO, OR IF I HAVE TOO LONG A DISTRACTION-A WEEK SAY- OR TWO, (THE HOLIDAYS) WHERE I ONLY GET THERE ONCE OR TWICE, DUE TO FAMILY OR WORK OBLIGATIONS OR SOME OTHER BS THAT I TELL MYSELF.  IT’S BS BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS BEST TO GIVE FROM A FULL WELL, NOT A DEPLETED ONE.

IT LOOKS LIKE THIS WITHOUT ENOUGH EXERCISE;  A BIT IRRITABLE, SNAPPY, AS IN, AT OTHER PEOPLE, THE DOGS, OR CATS, THEN A TIRED FEELING, LOW ENERGY, LESS OR NO MOTIVATION TO ACCOMPLISH THE THINGS I SET OUT TO.  OH YES AND THEN THERE’S THE REACHING FOR SOME SUGAR TO REPLACE THE MAGIC PILL THAT GETS RELEASED, THE ENERGY, AND THEN FEELING EVEN WORSE.  THIS ONLY HAPPENS IF THE DISTRACTION OR OBLIGATION GOES ON FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS, AND SO FAR ONLY THE HOLIDAYS THIS PAST YEAR HAVE GOTTEN ME AND I’M GUESSING PROBABLY A FEW OTHERS, “OFF TRACK”. BUT I AM OWNING THIS ONE.  THE TRUTH SETS ME FREE.

EACH YEAR AT THE HOLIDAYS I DO BETTER, BUT THE TRUTH IS, STOPPING OR SHRINKING YOUR EXERCISE PROGRAM DURING STRESSFUL TIMES IS LIKE GIVING A CHILD MORE SUGAR AFTER A BIRTHDAY PARTY JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE  GETTING TIRED, CRABBY AND DEMANDING IT.  IDIOTIC.  THAT IS PRECISELY THE INDICATOR THAT THEY HAVE HAD ENOUGH.  STRESSFUL TIMES THAT CALL FOR MORE ENERGY ARE PRECISELY THE TIMES THAT WE NEED HOLD STRONG TO OUR EXERCISE, AND OUR REST, NOT LET IT GO, LIKE THE WIND.

VACATIONS USED TO GET ME TERRIBLY OFF TRACK BUT I HAVE NOW OUTSMARTED, THE “YOU’RE ON VACATION-GO CRAZY ATTITUDE. ” A WARM VACATIONS DOES NOT  GET ME OFF TRACK ANYMORE, AS THERE ARE PLENTY OF CHANCES TO BE ACTIVE.  I EVEN LOST 1/2 LB ON ONE VACATION BECAUSE OF ALL THE ACTIVITY, AND WE STILL ENJOYED GREAT FOOD, BELIEVE ME, MY HUSBAND IS A MAJOR “FOODIE.”

I T IS THE LAST WEEK IN JANUARY, AND I AM NOW FEELING “THE REAL BACK  ON TRACK” REGULAR EXERCISE, TENNIS AND EATING HEALTHY. MY ENERGY IS BACK UP-AS WELL AS MY ATTITUDE.  INSTEAD OF FEELING GUILTY FOR EXERCISING LESS AND EATING FOODS AND/OR PORTIONS THAT ADD POUNDS, I NOW LOOK FORWARD TO ENJOYING HEALTHY SIMPLE DINNERS WITH MY FAMILY.

HERE’S KEEPING THE FAITH, THAT IF I RE-READ THIS NEXT YEAR, OH LETS SEE, ABOUT MID DECEMBER, AND REMIND MYSELF THAT REMAINING FAITHFUL TO MY EXERCISE IS THE FOUNDATION FOR ALL OTHER GOOD THINGS, GETTING “BACK ON TRACK”  WILL BE A THING OF THE PAST!

 

 

 

 

 

 

GOLD          by Rosemary Hurwitz

 

Gold or silver, it doesn’t matter, I can’t live without friendship. The adage, “make new friends, keep the old, one is silver and the other gold,” may be true, and I’d like to add my own truism, “that a marriage without friends can get dull and boring.”

Please don’t get me wrong.  I love my husband of twenty eight years deeply.  We share lots of common interests.  We laugh and talk and “get each other.” We have a wonderful physical attraction, which after four kids and all these years, I am very grateful for. 

 

Our friends though, individual ones and couple ones, bring us alive when we feel dull or “familied out.” Sorry, but there is a healthy balance and if more people knew this I am betting there would be happier families.

Like good cardio exercise, our small gatherings or large parties get our heart pumping.

We clean and decorate the house and prepare special dishes for our friends.  Running out for that last minute bouquet to welcome them is fun too.  I love it all- preparing for their  arrival, then actually having them over  and the next-day-good-all-over feeling because you opened your home.

 

  I like to go to other people’s houses too, seeing how they prepare for you, with all of their special touches, and their family’s style which shows all over their home. Whether going to their home or having them to ours, I always like it when there is a sharing of special dishes. Whether they are homeade or not, it is fun to see what people like to bring. With our friends, it is most often a sort of pot luck with a main fare planned by the hosts, and it certainly is a practical way to entertain each other.

One thing I like about our friends is they don’t just sit around; whether it’s sharing dinners, cards, boating, tennis, paddle, movies, ping pong or song, friends make our hearts glad all year long.

 

We share sad times too, and bring flowers when a parent dies.  We cry on each others shoulders when a parent gets ill  or when raising a family gets tough-a teenager fights with us, our 6^th grader feels left out, or our daughter or son leaves for college.

 

The guys bond over work, football or fishing and yes the ladies support their friend’s home parties from jewelry to decorating with home accessories to the latest craze-selling your old and broken down gold-even an odd earring will do. 

When our college son sells knives during a tough economy, we tell him it’s ok to call our friends, and hope we can support their kids in a similar way.

Friends warm our hearts all year long, and at holiday time, they are the real gold under the Christmas tree, or silver, as the case may be.

A Little Piece About A Big Constant in Life Called Change,
by Rosemary Hurwitz

My Mom used to say life is one adjustment after another. Now I know that one big constant in life is change. It is when I view change with faith, that I wake up, and enlarge my view. We walk through the door and often unknowingly close the smaller window of our experience.
Most of us start off the change “kicking and screaming,” even if we are quiet screamers.
Change is always loss but sometimes we are aware of our need for the change and want it. This seems the fairest kind of change. Changes that comes out of nowhere seem unfair and yet, if we look at nowhere as
now here, we will ultimately know deep down that it too was the right time for the change. It is during the adjustment process that we have an opportunity, a choice to transform to something deeper. I like to think, change is life’s (our) way of getting us ready for the big adjustment we call passing on, and maybe the better we get at change, the easier lifes final transition will be.
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Funny how a sweet fragrance can flood the memory!  Arriving for the summer, I was excited for the lake life at out cottage on ELk Lake, near Traverse City, MI.  I always love coming back around the fourth of July.  It is a thrill to see how our plantings of the previous Memorial Day weekend have flourished.  The ten window boxes, are spilling over with umbrellas of pink, purple and white petunias, and sapphire blue lobelia cascade down the middle of each box, offsetting the sparkling red geraniums and smiling Johnny-jump ups.  “They are the most beautiful and lush that we ever have had,” I exclaim and Caitlin, my daughter, says, “Oh Mom, you say that every year.”  I respond, “I say that about the Christmas tree, these really are the most beautiful, I can remember; just look at them,” I gush.  I guess after a longgggggggg Chicago winter and a wet spring, I am a sponge for beauty, even more than usual. 

Then I walk around to the glittering blue lakefront, where Sadie, our dog, has jumped off the dock for her ” Yay, I”m at the lake-watch out -here I come-swim.”   I  peruse the flowers and grasses that border the deck, and see such a suprise!  My deep pink rosebush has 8 large blooms, and their scent is so heavy, it momentarily intoxicates me.  I bend my head down and get my nose close to the bloom and draw in a deep breath, and see my Dad.  He is cutting the same heavily scented deep pink rose and is cutting two of them, one for me and one for my mother.  He tells me to breathe in it’s scent, and I say, “wow, Daddy that is really pretty.”  He says to bring in one to my mom, and put one in a bud vase near my bed.  Then I give him a hug and say” thanks,” and happily run in to show my mom.  I am ten.

The next image is of him bringing in more of these pretty pink red roses in a vase to me and my sisters room, one early morning when we did not want to wake up yet .  Another picture comes to mind,  of him bringing one into the house to give to my mother, maybe after a fight.

All I know is these roses have the exact same scent and he is there again with me.  I  tell him how much I have missed him in the almost six years since he’s passed, and I am grateful for these roses.  Then I ask him about the pennies…….MORE LATER